we can’t stop here, this is bat country

When it comes to books, my rule is “finish what you started.” You really have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to come up with something that I wouldn't read through to the end. I finished all FOUR Twilight novels. So when I say that I couldn't finish these, well… enough said.

Books to Throw at the Wall & then Walk Away Slowly

Wings, by Aprilynne Pike | I admit it, I have a dreadful weakness for paranormal YA novels. I don't even feel bad about it. But I feel bad about this one. Any novel that opens with the main character reflecting on how much more attractive she is than everyone else, and how hard it's made her life- um, no thanks. Further into the “plot” she develops a golf ball-sized tumor on her back, but doesn't tell her parents about it. After all, it wouldn't do to worry them. ARGH.

Vellum, by Hal Duncan | This book had basically all of my literary kinks and I still couldn't get through it. Reinterpretions of religion and myth, multiple universes, non-linear storytelling, characters that are both archetypes and individuals- on paper this is the perfect book for me. Which made it a real shame that it was terrible. The story is so non-linear that it doesn't go anywhere. Ever. Not even in an intriguing “circle through to the center of the labyrinth” way. There's no momentum in any sort of direction. The characters are so archetypal that you can't connect to them. This book made me a sad, sad panda.

Moby Dick, by Herman Melville | I've tried, okay? I know it's a classic! But it's so, so dull. It's all, “we're on a boat, and the captain's crazy, hey, there goes that evil whale again.” No. Just no. There are a half-dozen movies where I can watch the whale smash things, and even those I can't usually sit through. Let's just admit that some things don't deserve to be classics, alright?

What book did you have to give up on before you smashed it with a hammer? I'd love to hear!




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