Ugh: A guide to getting through the crappiest of crap days

I’ve had a string of utterly crap days at work this week- the kind where you probably wouldn’t be going back on Monday if you didn’t have to put food on the table. There’s only one way to overcome the urge to climb under the covers and never come out again:

  1. Go to the store and get the junkiest of the junk food that you secretly love. Million-calorie ice cream? Get it. Hostess cupcakes? Buy two boxes. Beef jerky? Go crazy.
  2. Grab your latest craft project and settle in front of the TV. Tell your partner/spouse/roommate/children that they can join you or go away, because you’re about to get your melancholy on.
  3. Watch Roman Holiday. Remind yourself that, whatever the problem is, at least you don’t have a tragically doomed romance with a European princess.
  4. Watch Moulin Rouge. Console yourself that, whatever the problem is, at least your lover isn’t dead of tuberculosis.
  5. Watch Tristan & Isolde. Congratulate yourself that, whatever the problem is, at least you haven’t betrayed the man who loves you like a son, your own king, by sleeping with his wife.
  6. By now you should be feeling quite a bit better about your own life. If not, it’s time to move on to #7. But these are the big guns–this step is serious business, folks.
  7. Watch Requiem for a Dream. Realize that, no matter what the problem is, at least you’re not a drug addict prostituting yourself for your next fix, or a drug addict having your limbs amputated, or a drug addict receiving electro-shock therapy, or a drug addict in a racist and abusive prison.

If “Requiem” doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what will. Any tips for getting through a crap day? Leave me a comment, I’m all ears!

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