we’re not there yet

My marriage is the same as yours. We cook dinner and fight over who has to do the dishes. We relax on the couch and watch “Criminal Minds.” We do laundry. Take our dog to the dog park. Celebrate our anniversary with silly, sappy cards. Do the crossword in bed. Take care of each other when we’re sick. Support each other. Sometimes we fight so loud the neighbors can hear. Sometimes we do other things loud enough for the neighbor to hear. We play Scrabble and make smoothies and go to the bookstore.

Except that my marriage…isn’t. Because the state of WA doesn’t currently recognize gay marriage. We’ll have been together six years this October, which is a far sight more than I could say for some people (yes, I’m looking at you, Britney Spears). We’ve struggled and stayed together through four different moves, job loss, unemployment, and poverty, yet somehow our relationship is inherently less than others.

A huge step was taken this week when the Senate passed a bill to allow gay marriage in WA, but we’re not there yet. The bill has to go through the House, and then get signed into law by Gov. Gregoire. Opponents already have both an initiative and a referendum in the works to try and overturn it. I can’t even begin to say how sad that makes me. That there are so many people in my own state (a fairly liberal one, at that), who are vehemently opposed to the idea of my partner and I being married, merely because we have two sets of girl-parts. My mind never ceases to boggle at the hatred and fear and close-mindedness; the way that they can close their eyes and ignore the fact that we have a loving, stable, successful partnership.

My marriage is the same as yours. Please. Please keep this in mind the next time you see a gay marriage issue on your ballot. Imagine if someone stepped up to your and your spouse and told you that your marriage was invalid. That everything you’ve worked and striven for, that your life together, didn’t count. What if it happened to you?


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